the luck of the draw

after decades and decades of poverty
as I now approach the lip of the
grave,
suddenly I have a home, a new car, a
spa, a swimming pool, a computer.

will this destroy me?
well, something is bound to destroy
me soon enough.

the boys in the jails, the slaughterhouses,
the factories, on the park benches, in the
post offices, the bars
would never believe me
now.

I have a problem believing myself.
I am no different now
than I was in the tiny rooms of
starvation and madness.
the only difference is
is that I am
older.
and I drink better
wine.
all the rest is
nonsense,
the luck of the
draw.

a life can change in a tenth of
a second.
or sometimes it can take
70
years.

Author
Charles Bukowski
Written
1991
Source
Original manuscript