the hardest

birthday for me was my 30th.
I didn’t tell anybody.
and I was sitting in this same bar.
night and day.
and I thought, how long am I going
to be able to keep this bluff
when am I going to give it up and
start acting like everybody
I ordered another drink and
thought about it
and then the answer came to
when you’re dead, baby, when
you’re dead.