the fathead

he was a nice guy
the first year
real human
you know.
he’d flip guys in the
shower with a wet towel
on the ass,
put baby skunks and
rattlesnakes in the
lockers.
we all liked
him.
he was up for a
cup of coffee and
the minors weren’t far
away.
the second year
our regular first
baseman broke his
leg on a freak slide
into 2nd.
they put the kid in
and he got hot
hit .322 had 24
homers and 101
ribbies.
this third year
he’s divorced his
wife,
shacks with a 19
year old model.
he’s on the shaving
and deodorant ads,
and with the season
half over
he’s hitting
.346
has 18 homers
and 62
ribbies.
there isn’t a guy
on this team
who doesn’t hate
his guts.

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