the fathead

he was a nice guy
the first year
real human
you know.
he’d flip guys in the
shower with a wet towel
on the ass,
put baby skunks and
rattlesnakes in the
we all liked
he was up for a
cup of coffee and
the minors weren’t far
the second year
our regular first
baseman broke his
leg on a freak slide
into 2nd.
they put the kid in
and he got hot
hit .322 had 24
homers and 101
this third year
he’s divorced his
shacks with a 19
year old model.
he’s on the shaving
and deodorant ads,
and with the season
half over
he’s hitting
has 18 homers
and 62
there isn’t a guy
on this team
who doesn’t hate
his guts.