sometimes you go a bit crazy

like the time in Auga Caliente I got lucky on the
horses and stayed that night for the dogs and
I got lucky again and I drank a lot of beer and
felt fine like–electric, you know–like
the gods were on my side and this in spite of
the fact that I know my girlfriend had
been fucking other guys, so that was over
and I didn’t give a shit about any-
thing
so that made me
brave
so instead of driving back to L.A. I drove
around the streets of Tijuana until I found a
bar that I liked.
I parked, gave 3 street urchins a dollar a
piece, with more promised later, to guard my
car.
I went in, sat down and ordered a
tequilla.
there were 4 or 5 natives in there, real
cool, man.
I drank the tequilla and ordered
another.
everything was all right until
a toreador song came on over the
juke box (at least I considered it to be
one) and I got up and I grabbed a chair and
pretended I was holding off a
bull.
I made giant leaps and spins and also
worked in some fancy dance
steps.

the song ended and the men applauded.   I
bowed, sat down and ordered another
tequilla.

“hey, seƱor,” one of the men asked, “can
you do that again?”

“sure,” I drank the tequilla, “put
the song on again.”

I got up and did the same thing all over
again
only not as good
for I was finally getting
drunk.

but
still
the gentlemen were generous with their
applause.

I sat down, bought drinks all around
and had a final
tequilla.

it was a pleasant
parting…


outside
my car was still there and
the urchins too.
I didn’t have any ones so I
gave them a five and let them
fight
over it.

I got gas for the car
made it back over the border without problems
drove back to my place without untoward
incident, got undressed
went to bed with a bottle of
beer
drank at it
in the dark
then

the phone
rang.

it was my x-
girlfriend:

“where the hell you
been?”

“why worry about it? you
and I are
finished.
used goods don’t interest
me.

“what the hell do you think
you are?   you’re used
goods!”

she hung
up.

I got up, got another beer out
of the refrig
sat in the dark
at the breakfastnook
table
drank the beer
got up
made it to the bathroom
pissed
even washed my hands and
face with soap
like a civilized man
then
went back to bed
feeling
utterly
marvelous
self-pleased
really selfish
about
myself
and

then I
slept

and all night
as I slept
the walls kept
bowing down toward
me
and
the ceiling too

and
they all said:

“Chinaski, Chinaski, you
are a
truly great
man…”