never look

that’s the secret: never look.
“you never look at people,” a girlfriend used to
say to me.
I had a reason, I didn’t want to see what was
there, I felt better without that
reality.

there are thousands of examples of what I mean by
this but since we both have many other things to
do, I’ll just illustrate with a
few:
say, if I boarded a jet and I saw the pilot first,
then that would be a very uneasy
flight.
or say, at the harness races if I looked at the
driver who was to guide the horse of my
selection
then I knew that I could never
bet that horse.
or say, (and I realize that you might not
understand this one) if I saw the faces of the
winners of a beauty contest
I was almost always
horrified.
and I know it’s a terrible thing to say but
when I saw hundreds of faces at a sporting
event I became dizzied with
disbelief.

I appear to be misplaced in the multitudes, I don’t
belong.

I am best alone watching my three cats, they are
true acts of
life.

I can
look.

Author
Charles Bukowski
Written
1985
Source
Original manuscript