macho man

the phone rings and I answer
it, it is a woman, she says
“you are a sick son of a bitch
and I thought I’d tell you
she hangs up.

I am supposedly

it rings again
“you write this macho bullshit
but you’re probably a
fag, you probably want to suck
black dick!”

she hangs up.

I am watching the Johnny Carson
show, he amuses me, so straight-
backed, dressed in his highschool
go-to-dance suit, touching his nose, his
necktie, the back of his neck, he’ as a
giveaway, he wants desperately to be
all right, just like his audience.

it rings again.

“you don’t know what a real woman
if you ever met a real woman you
wouldn’t know what to do with

she hangs up.

Carson joked about his jokes being
so bad but he has probably consumed
and murdered more writers than
Bobby Hope.

this time she says, “why do you keep
listening to me?
why don’t you hang up?”

I hang up.
then take the phone off the

Carson has finished his monologue
delicately concerned yet
he goes into his little golf
as the commercial descends
upon me

it’s just another dull night
in San Pedro
as all my male servants
Kitcha Kubee
Des Man DeAblo
La Tabala
Swine Herd Sam
stand with their black

I decide to have my unlisted
number changed to another
unlisted number
but meanwhile
remote control the tv
shush the fellows
and reach for the pages of
Sam Beckett
as my cross-eyed white cat
leaps upon the

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