it’s no mystery

you know those Lock Neck monsters
they keep seeing in that lake in
Scotland?
I know what those Lock Neck monsters
are
and I’ve written the newspaper
I’ve written my congressmen
I’ve sent letters to Time and
Newsweek
but there’s no reply
and I’ve told my wife
and she just told me to go
whack-off in the
closet.
and now I’m telling you:
those Lock Ness monsters are
Russian submarines
and we can’t blow them to hell
too soon,
they’re up to some real shit
down there,
maybe photographing   a way
to tunnel under the earth
and blast us from underneath
from Manhattan to Malibu,
I know what those Lock Neck monsters
are.

Author
Charles Bukowski
Written
1983