hot dog

when we started in
here would come
this big black hairy
male hound
dripping of mouth and
penis
stinking
panting
lurid
whimpering
begging
snorting through Valentino
nostrils
he stank like a Hollywood motel
doormat
wet in the rain

and when I stopped to kick
him out of bed
she’d say:
“oh!   please don’t hurt Timmy!”

and Timmy would run in neurotic
circles
smelling his
asshole
licking his
thin long red sickly
penis

and I’d return to my task
and just begin to near enlightenment
and here would come
Timmy again…

being in the missionary position
I was able to rap him
a good fist or two
across the snout
but it didn’t stop him
from sniffing
drooling
poking
and that’s the way we’d
finish
all three of
us….

she had a good job down on
Sunset boulevard
which was more than I could
say
and when she left in the
mornings
she pointed out the black pill
on the dresser
the upper
and she told me
to go out the back way
because mother had an apartment
up front
and she didn’t want her
to see me.

then I’d take the upper
and look at that dog
and his eyes would look
openly into mine.
we had no
secrets.
I knew and he knew
that we were both
her lovers.

and I knew by looking
at him that
he needed her more than
I did.

I left that morning
driving in the bright
sunshine
feeling
hazy
spooked
unreal
but still
all right.

she phoned 3 or 4 times
after that.
now it’s over.
past.

when I looked into his
eyes
that morning
I knew
he loved her
and that all I wanted was
sex.

maybe if it had been
a man
I couldn’t have
done it.

but then
I never met a man
with eyes as beautiful
as that dog had.