here I am…

here I am
drunk again at
3 a.m.
at the end of my
second bottle of
wine
I have typed from
a dozen to 15
pages of
poesy

an old man
liver gone
haemorrhoids
high blood pressure

no woman will live
with me

if I have a stroke
I will lay here
for 6 days
my three cats
hungrily ripping the
flesh from my
elbows
wrists
head

the radio playing
classical
music

I promised myself
never to write
old man
poems

but this one’s
funny
you see
excusable

because I’ve
long gone past
using myself
and there’s still
more
left

here
this 3 a.m.
I am going to take
this sheet from the
typer

pour another
glass
insert the fresh
new whiteness

get lucky
again

first
for me

later
for
you.

Author
Charles Bukowski
Written
1983
Source
Original manuscript