feed time

“I’m going to turn myself in to the
madhouse,” she said over the phone
“so all I’m asking you to do is to
feed my dog and my cat while I’m gone.
Will you do that?”
“No,” I said and hung up.
the phone rang and I picked it up
and it was full of wild
screams.   then:
“YOU WON’T FEED MY CAT AND DOG?
I’LL KILL YOU, I’LL KILL YOU, I’LL KILL
YOU!   YEEEEEYEEEEYOOOWEEOW!”
“All right,” I said,” I’ll feed your cat
and dog.”

I waited an hour
then went over.   she was gone.   the
front door was unlocked.

I found a can of kalcan beefheart
and tried to open it on the
electric opener.   it took me
5 minutes to open it.   I still couldn’t
find the dog.

I looked at tv for 20 minutes
then left.

I was at my place about 2   hours when
the phone rang.   she told me that it
wasn’t any good during the holidays
they just didn’t have any help
they just hung you up and made you sit
around.

“Listen,” I said,” I fed   your cat but
I couldn’t find your dog, so don’t feed
your cat again.”

“All right,” she
said.