dream girl, I understand your absence

when the sun comes blaring from the left in the morning
(I sleep on my belly so left is always left) I awaken to all
that golden yellow steam
and
I’m alone
and I sometimes (but not always) think, how come   the most
beautiful woman in the world is not in bed next to
me?
I deserve it, I think, I deserve
it.

then I get up
go to the bathroom
splash water on my face

look into the
mirror

shudder a bit
in
disbelief

then

go sit down on
the ivory
stool

let it all
go

except for the
reality

which

no amount
of

curling
whirling
pumping
intestine
can

shit
away.

Author
Charles Bukowski
Written
1984
Source
Original manuscript
This poem appeared in the following books: