a fair evening

how’s   it going?   I asked.

what? he answered.

your love affair.

o, well, not bad.   like last night
first she tried two pillows.
that didn’t work.
then she hooked her toes
around the bed rungs
with Mahler on the
stereo.   that
was worse.   then
I tied her with
my belt
then touched her all over
with match ends that had just
burnt out.   that
didn’t work either.
so I read her passages from the
bible and poured a
vanilla malt up her
ass.   no
result.
I went to the refrigerator
got a cucumber
came back and
jammed it
in.   it worked.   “oh,” she said,
I love you!”
“I love you too,” I said.
I worked with the cucumber in and   out
until both of us were
satisfied.
then we went to a movie and
saw George C. Scott.

how was the movie?   I asked.

oh, it was fine, he said
George is a good
actor.