a confession

it was hardest between 8 a.m. and
hearing the voices in the courtyard while
I masturbated

the sperm falls across the belly
useless and sickening

no feeling.

as the machinegunners pewked-up Holy Marys
the dog crawled home through the hall.

pink balloons in the rain
as they guillotined Mr.

a red cow and a purple moon.
get it up or get it
out, she

it’s not the beer and the smoking and the coffee
it’s those dead midnights in Duluth that’s
stoking the maggots into the

no soup in the mainline
no heather paradise home

the whore parts her hair
with a fresh yellow gladiola.

so many women wanting to pet my heart
like an animal part
shown to friends like
a peso
an impulse
an aspirin
out of a furry handbag.

my dick in your face, boys,
and into the cunt of